The Quest for the KillerApp and…Viagra too

There is a new Gold rush in the technology world – the killer apps. More and more it looks like the freshest bubble that, hopefully, will burst soon. Why am I so mean to killer apps? Because I think they divert crucial funding from a much more needed and beneficial (to humanity) spheres to something which raison d’etre is rather dubious. Yes, I am technology-impaired/retarded, gadget-phobic creature – so what will you do to me? Kill me with your App?

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Precisely because I am definitely NOT your average tech geek, it’s me you have to convince to use your apps. And you’re not very good at it. I feel like being swamped by utterly useless (to me) functions, desperately peddled by nerdy inventors with a weird perception of ‘cool’ (who wouldn’t be able to match shoes to a shirt). Why, for Christ’s sake?  They are not  improving my anything. I don’t need them, I don’t need to be aware of their redundant existence.

What prompted this current wave of craze? In my view – recession, followed by  investors unrealistic wish for the quickest ever ROI. Like in the last days of  Pompeii: we don’t know if we will be here tomorrow, so lets make a kill now and the hell with all the rest! This Doomsday cry  has been the business model for the infinite number of start-ups, offering  The Next Killer App, riding the same ‘last breath” tiger of the funders: “we don’t know if we survive 3 years on, but lets dupe someone into paying for our app today”.

So all these new buzzy “mini-me” (micro) funds are tripping over themselves to invest their pennies in FaceBook, Google and mobile enabled useless thingies, that aim to rip us of both money and the little spare time we still have left in our hectic lives. However, to paraphrase the old joke about sperm and lawyers 😉 – only one in a million has a chance to become profitable.

Meantime, other much more crucial, to our well being, fields are money starved to practically non-existence. Renewable energies and cleantech technologies are experiencing Darwinistic fight for survival, following acute funding drought, and we still cannot break through the old harmful paradigms that drive us to perdition. Just because the moneybags lost their appetite  for long term investments.

So let me draw the not-so-imaginary picture of our plausible nascent apocalypse (has nothing to do with  the 21st December gloom) – Goya style: we, poor, sick and homeless, obese or anorectic, suffering from all forms of cancer and other fatal diseases, due to omni-present pollution and lack of adequate treatment, will cheerfully crawl (no money for cars and gas) to the over-crowded cemeteries, SMSing, statusing in our Facebook profiles or playing with smart phones.

What’s the relevance to Viagra in the title, you may justly ask. Well, after all, Viagra is a hugely successful pharmaceutical KillerApp that operates under identical twisted logic: a centenarian may regain his virility, without actually remembering what for :(.

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7 thoughts on “The Quest for the KillerApp and…Viagra too

  1. i am in total agreement with the author. i don´t use many apps personally, i still prefer to use my head (old-fashioned like i am) or prefer to ask real human beings for their opinion or help.

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  2. Michael, sadly, it seems that the tech revolution has rendered many “primordial” habits – like using one’s brains – obsolete, Hence, we don’t really need to use it anymore, do we? Thus, money seems to flow into things that will make us die happy and updated. I wonder about our real-time values: dope is bad,alcohol is bad, but being wired senseless is good?

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  3. Entertaining article, Vickie! I don’t even know the difference between a killer app and an app.
    What do you think would constitute a useful one? Mostly they are just links to a mobile version of a website, whether it is news, commerce, or reservations for hotels, airlines, restaurants. I think that we still use our brains when we use the internet, some more than others, of course. I do agree. Most app hype is just that.

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  4. Steve, you are completely right of course and the $64K question about app’s usefulness is totally subjective. Again to paraphrase the well known proverb: “it’s in the mind of the user.” Meaning – you know best what’s good for you. What makes me, personally, wonder is the zillion versions of video-sharing files for example, all Facebook and such compatible and so on. Who bloody needs it?

    So the standard answer is that it’s for the younger users, But they don’t pay for it themselves – their parents pay! And it have to be reasonably justified – which I don’t see.

    Besides, young users tend to grow up. But probably this point is irrelevant to the apps peddlers, because they have to sell it now! not thinking what will be in several years time.

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  5. I finally was able to read and what I have to say is two thumbs – way up! I love it. As far as being a technophobe, you no longer will be one soon. And then you’ll show the world…

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  6. I hate this app-based internet shoved by apple, google, facebook etc. Why not make a mobile website that is accessible to all phones with a browser?

    Sucks to see fads drain millions of dollars while the neo900 team (which aims to make a successor to the abandoned nokia n900) had to rely on donations.

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